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“this belonged to my mother. here.”
“arthur, i can’t…”
“just…take it.”

I’m sorry. He is giving one of the few relics he probably has of his mother, to Merlin. Things you don’t do for your best friend: Give away priceless mementos of your martyred mother. That’s not something that happens.

Are they setting up this whole ludicrous BUT GWEN CHEATED ON MEEEEE! plotline so we have a reason Arthur and Merlin can finally take care of that very obvious romantic tension? They keep trying to die for each other. They keep trying to make each other better people. They give each other dearly beloved pieces of the parents they never had. They turn to each other for comfort. I’M NOT EVEN SHIPPING IT. IT’S JUST THERE. IT IS JUST THERE. YOU PICK IT UP AND RUN.

FEELINGS ALL AROUND

and for the umpteenth time since I started watching this series (2.5 years ago?), I will silently scream and rage at the “family” genre and all of it’s shitty heteronormative standards.

HEY PARENTS, QUEERS ARE NOT GOING TO RUIN YOUR KIDS. Y U NO WANT THEM IN YOUR FAMILY SHOWS?

Also, can I just add, that what ends up happening with the whole Arthur/Gwen/Lancelot thing in most of the popular variants of Arthurian legend post-Lancelot/Gwen is actually a romance, LOL (and post-Lancelot French Mary Sue addition) is probably more damaging than Arthur and Merlin having a relationship.

And, dude, I want to know what the fuck they’re trying to even say with having them have this close and all-consuming of a relationship where Merlin is only occasionally recognized for what he does (which is not Arthur’s fault, as, according to Arthur’s world, Merlin is just Arthur’s ludicrously loyal, but entirely rubbish manservant, who he just takes along on very dangerous journeys, because things have a way of working out when Merlin is around. Also he cooks. Also the conversation is better. Also he can get the firewood.) Like: hey kids, if you hide everything about yourself and sacrifice your time, friends, chance at personal happiness and never expect anything from your best friend, and take advice from a.) a morally ambiguous dragon trapped in a cave who tells you to kill children and b.) a morally ambiguous old man who betrayed his people to survive a mass genocide, you too could fuck up everything with all your good intentions.

I know, right? I’m not even sure if the writers intended to create such fucked up characters. It started off so nice and pure in the beginning and they don’t really address the issues much, so I really don’t know.

Like, Merlin’s undying loyalty to Arthur is sweet- it really is, it’s one of my favourite parts of the show- but it’s also extremely unhealthy. He has sacrificed everything- ESPECIALLY HIS CHANCE AT PERSONAL HAPPINESS- but he’s probably going to get his beautiful little ass kicked out of the kingdom if he ever comes clean because Arthur is not just the King of Camelot, he is the King of Trust Issues.

Also, why would Merlin think it was okay to allow Arthur to put his trust in him- to slowly weasel his way in until he was one of the most important people in Arthur’s life- and all the while hide who he is? I mean, I’ve been really good friends with compulsive liars before, and christ almighty that shit hurts when you find out what’s going on. Is Merlin really under the delusion that he can hide who he is forever? Even worse, has he come to believe that it’s completely alright to fool Arthur like that?

whoa, long paragraphs. anyway, my point in case is that for a “family show”, they have created a truly beautiful and completely complicated relationship. The very foundation of it is morally ambiguous already- do the writers really think that adding a bit more gay to it is going to corrupt the poor little children watching it?

I have so many feels about Merlin and Arthur and Merlin lying about everything. On one hand he isn’t just lying for the fun of it. He didn’t tell Arthur he was an FBI agent, or that oh hey we love the same books and shows! We have so much in common! Let’s be in love. He’s lying about something that will get him killed. And basically the only role model he has is a guy who has only lived as long as he has by lying about everything all the time lying forever, tell no one anything, they will kill you (and probably kill you anyways). And he’s done a lot of horrible things because of that, which is partly bad writing, and partly that Merlin is just a rolling ball of good intention inertia and rarely makes good choices in relation to that. Like. He’s just sort of brainwashed himself into believing just about everything is fine as long as he does it for Arthur’s sake. And that is in no way healthy or good or laudable or okay. And I have a lot of issues about it.

But there had to have been a point. There had to have been some point that Merlin could have said “Arthur I am sorry, I have magic, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to die, I’m sorry, goodbye.” Like. At any one of the points he thought he was going to die for sure this time. Any single one of those times, because that would make sense. If he wanted magic to be okay again in Albion, then what better way that basically going Here I Am, I Am Magic, But I Will Die For You All The Same. Like season 1. That would have been a good time to have that conversation. And then the show could have been them hiding it from Uther and everyone else and sort of being like Peter and Neal from White Collar, where Arthur kind of thinks Merlin is a criminal and doesn’t wholly trust him, but want to and that could have been enough narrative tension there. Right there.